Logans Story Part 3

Daddy,Logan,Landon waiting to get an MRI of Logans brain.

Logan had to get MRIs of his Brain throughout his Chemotherapy treatments as well,so the Urologist could monitor his brain to make sure there was no new growth. Logan had to be sedated,and sometimes a breathing tube would be used to help him breath while he was sedated. Each MRI lasts about 1hr,and it takes about 30-40 min for Logan to wake up from the sedation. He usually sleeps right after,on the way home in his carseat,and by the time we arrive home the sedation effects have worn off.

At first Logan was having brain scans every 3 months for the first year,then every 6 months for the 2nd yr, and then after the second years up he will have 1 brain scan a year for a few years. This is just to monitor to see if the brain tumor has come back. Logan is usually scared of the MRI, he has just recently at age 6 become comfortable with getting one.

After Landon was born there was so much to be thankful for, Logan had a new brother,we have another baby. We clinged to the joy of having 2 children and it really brought in a positive note to Logan finishing up his last 4 months of Chemotherapy. Logan loved having his baby brother by his side.

 Being pregnant while going through Logans Chemotherapy treatments was very hard, but also rewarding. We were expecting another baby,that is a very exciting time. So it gave life more meaning,when the baby was born (Landon) Logan would only have 4 months more of Chemotherapy. I am a very joyous and happy person. I try to look at the positive in every situation and every person. Yes,Logan going through Chemotherapy was the hardest thing pysically and emotionally I have ever had to go through,but I was determined to make the best of the situation we were in. Even tho I was hurting so bad inside,I wanted to be strong and look strong for my son.

I didnt want anyone to feel sorry for me,because my son had cancer. I look at it in sense that yes,my son had cancer,but hes doing good,and hes making it through. I heard people tell me all the time how their child died from their cancer,their child has terminal cancer. I saw so many kids at the hospital that were suffering so much more than my son was,they had it so much worse. I feel you need to be thankful for every moment,breath,second,because trust me it could be way worse. I looked up to my husband,we supported eachother,and helped eachother through.

I didnt really tell any of my friends or family what exactly was going on at the time,or how I was feeling. I pretty much kept my feelings and everything to myself.But I told them just bits and pieces,like the basics of how the treatments were going. Alot of it was because Logans brain cancer and tumor was too difficult for me to talk about at the time, and I wasnt ready to talk about it,I was to weak. I figured they would understand. Its just such hard topic. I chose to talk about only the positive aspects of it. I should have asked though for some support,Im sure I would have received some support.

 But I woke up each day and put a smile on my face,because I was determined to be positive about what Logan was going through. I was going to be supportive and happy for him. I wasnt going to let it swollow me whole. With every negative that came about id make it positive. Theres a positive to every negative.

I did go to the doctor and was put on a depression medication,but it made me feel not myself, it kinda made me feel depressed, and I did doubt things ,but really tried hard to look on the bright side. I ended up getting off the medication and I felt better. But here we are 4 yrs later. I can comfortably talk about Logans tumor and his cancer because Im stronger. Im thankful. Every single time I look in his big blue eyes, I am reminded of how lucky I am,to get to see his smile every morning,and every afternoon when I picked him up from school. I am so in awe every single day. He is such a blessing.